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Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer wagon.

Cameron whispered what bystanders recounted sounded like a desperate plea for assistance: "Help me, for the love of God, help me," and appeared to reach for either the airborne Sally or the two pitchers of beer clutched in her hands.

Two of the dogs from the Frisbee Catching Contest ran over to lap at the beer-drenched Sally and her thoroughly saturated clothing, such as it was.

"Frank the Chili Tester was originally written by W. He is a humor columnist and writes the Cameron Column for the Rocky Mountain News in Denver, Colorado. She was so irritated over my gagging sounds that the snake tattoo under her eye started to twitch. When she winked at me her snake sort of coiled and uncoiled--it's kinda cute. Cayenne peppers freshly ground adding considerable kick. JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato.

Please feel free to visit his website at: you'll find many more columns, though his personal favorite is "The Chili Taster."We wrote to Mr. She has arms like Popeye and a face like Winston Churchill. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

If you need some suggestions, the video below has a few.

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Several spectators were injured in the gentlemanly rush to provide assistance.

Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. The following was derived from interviews with contestants, vendors and attendees, and from various official reports submitted and filed by the city police, county sheriff's office, Highway Patrol, volunteer fire department, officials of the ASPCA, and the EMS ambulance crew.

JUDGE TWO: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. We received a great E-mail from "Bob" who told us that he really enjoyed the above "Chili Taster" and he was kind enough to send us a certified narration of "the rest of the story". After Judge Cameron consumed a third large spoonful of Chili #8, he lurched to his feet launching his folding chair back into the lovely Sally, who was catapulted off the rear of the judging stand landing flat on her back in the grass just below the stand.

Call the X-Files people and tell them I've found a super nova on my tongue.

JUDGE ONE: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot.

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